Thoughts on Pregnant Bellies.

Listen, baby mama.

I know you are proud of that baby, and I get it. However, just because you are proud of your baby does NOT mean that I wish to see that honkin’ huge belly of yours displayed in a half nude picture. It. Is. Not. Special. To. Us.

Baby = should be public. Preggo nude belly (with or without adornments) = should not be public.

Keep that picture for your own private gallery. Facebook is not private enough.

Sincerely,

Gagging

Ps. While you’re at it, we don’t want to see your baby’s butt either, so keep the diaper on when showing it off. Giant teacups for scenery do not make this ok.

Thoughts on Pregnant Bellies.

Listen, baby mama.

I know you are proud of that baby, and I get it. However, just because you are proud of your baby does NOT mean that I wish to see that honkin’ huge belly of yours displayed in a half nude picture. It. Is. Not. Special. To. Us.

Baby = should be public. Preggo nude belly (with or without adornments) = should not be public.

Keep that picture for your own private gallery. Facebook is not private enough.

Sincerely,

Gagging

Ps. While you’re at it, we don’t want to see your baby’s butt either, so keep the diaper on when showing it off. Giant teacups for scenery do not make this ok.

Thoughts on words.

There are only so many combinations of words out there.

Have you ever thought about that?

I did… recently. I realized that no matter how I combine words, the effect seems always minimal at best. I’m not really a creative “on-the-spot” thinker, typically. I mull over words; I plan, I borrow, and I exchange words in my writing and poetry.

But it still never comes out right.

Words carry me so far – but not far enough sometimes. The deepest corners of my heart and my mind will remain forever unspoken, unwritten… and I think that’s how it’s supposed to be. And yet it frustrates me, as if I am some child reaching for the moon who realizes that when she pulls back her hand nothing is there. I will never reach the moon with words.

So much meaning and significance is attached to words. However, they’re still just as imperfect as we are. We will never reach the moon with our hands… or our words.

That has to be ok with us. What can we really do about it? So we will attempt to convey the meaning that we need to, and it will fall short time and time again. I guess the point is that we still need to communicate, but understanding that words are finite and inadequate can help.

The next time something is miscommunicated to you or from you, realize: we are human, and our words reach only so far.

Thoughts on Job: This 365 days of blog….

…is getting quite old.

So I decided to cease. Alas! I am not strong enough to be creative on paper 365 days in a row! Unfortunate.

Anyway, I am studying the book of Job this month, believe it or not. It’s an amazing book, but it always strikes me as so depressing. Like Ecclesiastes or Lamentations, in a sense. But in actuality, the ending is so incredibly happy. Everything is restored to poor Job two times over!

I wonder if I would endure the trials that he faced…. losing his wealth, his children, and his servants all in one day…. but that’s not even the worst of it. Then he develops hideous, oozing boils all over his body. Almost ridiculously unlucky, I would say. The worst thing about the book of Job, though, is that the loss he faced has nothing to do with luck, and everything to do with Satan! (in a round-about way, God also – he didn’t prevent it) Terrible.

And yet, Job endured. Sure, with doubt, questioning, stubbornness, pride, anger, depression, and haughtiness… but he endured it nonetheless. What kind of woman of God am I? Would i be willing to endure this? Jesus endured even more than the above. So what would I even complain about?

I’ve just been thinking about Job alot. I highly recommend that you read that book of the Bible. It challenges every view of God you have ever had, yet ties it in at the end to show who the one true God is in His omnipotence.

Day #23 – Thoughts on Grace.

Beautifully undeserved
unmerited
Favor.

What else is there to say on it? Grace affects all of us, day in and day out. I believe that God in my life can be summed up in one, complete, wonderful word: Grace. I deserve nothing of the kind, gentle Hands that reach out and touch my face when I least expect them to. I deserve nothing of the loving eyes that see me when I least want them to.

Nothing.

And yet, being undeserving… His love shows even more.

Grace.

*I plan on finishing “Briefly” (see earlier posts for details) in a few days…. stay tuned*

Day #21 – Thoughts on Sonnet 116

“Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O, no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.
Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle’s compass come:

Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.

If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.”

These words are some of the most beautiful that ever were penned. William Shakespeare, for all the nonsense that he displays at times concerning love and marriage, wrote words worthy of the nature of love. Love runs through the veins of a true lover like fire, ever consuming and every marking them with it complete takeover. Love never quits, never fails, never removes itself from the mind of one who has been seared with its brand.

I have not been in love. I find that each time I am tempted to believe I am, once the object of that love is removed, it was only counterfeit.

Yet this love withstands all storms, and bears all things, even unto the end of time. Physically, we all wear down under the sickle of time. We all begin to bear the marks of life, and start to fade. But love doesn’t fade, it does not alter when it alteration finds.

Day # 19 – RE-DO! or, Thoughts on Friendship

I am determined to do 365 days of blogging. You may have noticed that I haven’t touched my blog for… oh… a month or so. But I will fight back against this laziness! So, I would like to request a re-do, and from here on out I will start at day 19 and keep blogging for the rest of 365 days… or actually, 346.

One of the biggest things on my mind lately has to do with friendship. For some people, friendship comes so naturally. I have a huge amount of friends, both acquaintances and ones that I spend time with on a regular basis. But there are a few that I would label my “best friends.” Ironically, I was thinking about the process that it took for me to open up to them and become such good friends… and for most of them I couldn’t even remember.

There was no certain time that I decided they were my best friends. It just happened. Quite strange. But really miraculous and unique. And it happens all the time, to almost every person on the planet.

Actually, maybe not everyone… I was also thinking today (See, I do this alot! It’s a general habit) and Americans are such lonely people. Why is that, do you think?

Do we lose sight of our real meaning?

Do we push people away when we should be pulling them towards ourselves?

hm.

*Random tid-bit of the day: I love tagging my blogs. And sometimes I add in the most ridiculous tags just because. I mean, it’s not like they relate to the actual blog. But someone might type in “purple people eater” into google and discover my blog. Then we can be friends!*

Day #15 – Thoughts on Leo Tolstoy

Every time I read Anna Karenina by Count Leo Tolstoy, I am absolutely more in love with his natural talent for writing excellent novels, and the flavor of classic Russian literature. He vividly portrays the emotions and thoughts of each of his characters, from the hall porter to the hunting dog. It’s incredible. I’ve never read a book by an author who understands all walks of life so well, and who can make the reader relate to each one, as if they were in the shoes of the characters in the book.

Oftentimes I stop and wonder how he knows the emotions of the women in his novel so well. For instance, Anna Karenina is absolutely terrified of her husband’s (staged by the end) magnanimous attitude. She loves Vronsky, and yet is still held in reserve through most of the book. It follows through till the end, when she despairs and ends her life. But it’s more complex than that, and actually explains what she is feeling and thinking at each stage in her rise and decline.

Anna is an enigma to everyone except the reader and the author. She’s absolutely stunning, yet her life is nothing at all like we would imagine it to be from outward appearances. I don’t envy her in the least bit. The heartache that she caused all those around her, including her son and her own self, leaves nothing to envy. I pity her, not in a judgmental way, but from the viewpoint of someone who understands that we all make mistakes… just sometimes the mistakes we make are on a grander scale than we can comprehend.

Tolstoy adds in bits and pieces of information between all the lines. Different scenes in the novel make one think – such as when Vronsky decides to become a painter, and attempts to capture the essence of Anna Karenina. “He liked the graceful and showy French manner more than any other, and in this manner he began painting a portrait of Anna in Italian costume, and to him and to everyone who saw it this portrait seemed very successful.” Vronsky has developed an obsession with an Anna Karenina that he has made up, painted himself will all his high airs, and for now the painting of Anna seems succesful.

Later on he is annoyed with a professional artist who comes to paint a portrait of Anna, because that one is so accurate and so real, capturing everything that he couldn’t draw out of her. He stops working on his portrait, frustrated and ashamed.

Amazing book. A “must-read” for all those who haven’t picked it up. You think that you know some good authors that have a well-defined plot and reveal their characters well, then I suggest you read this book of Leo Tolstoy’s and compare. War and Peace is much the same, though I found it a bit more mechanical than Anna Karenina.

Leo Tolstoy continues to impress and amaze all those aspiring authors who follow in his shoes, providing an example of what it is truly like to create a work of art using language and paper.

If you have read it, let me know what you think about it. Or about Russian Literature, in general – Tolstoy, Dostoevsky, Pushkin…

Day #2 – Thoughts on Second-Chancers.

I’m not doing such a good job on this whole “blog every day for a year” thing. 15 minutes left to squeeze in a post.

Guess what today is? One year ago today, he asked me out. And I said yes. I had no idea. And for six months afterwards, on the 15th of every month I would tell everyone I know how many months I had been dating him, and we would talk about how happy we were. We also would talk about how stupid we were for being 2500 miles apart. At this point, that distance is too short. I’d rather have 20,500 miles in between us. Which is impossible because the earth’s circumference is 24,900… and by the time I’m past 12,000, I’m already getting closer to him.

It’s just a sad day. That’s all. One year ago I thought the world was completely rose-colored, and I was on clouds for about a week. I couldn’t stop smiling. Now… It’s not so much like that.

But it’s a comfortable numbness. You know? It’s one of those feelings that goes away after a while, leaving a wake of empty, blank feelings. And that’s what I need right now.

I was only meant to fall in love once, I’m pretty sure. So what does that mean? If we are programmed to only fall in love once, what happens to the people who are screwed over by breaking up with the first person they fell in love with? Do they miss their chance? Or do they find someone else who missed their chance and fall in love with them? We should call ourselves “second-chancers”.

I’m human, and that’s what I want the most: a second chance.

I thought that’s what love is all about?

Day #1 – Thoughts on Balance

I’ve seen this lame thing before where people will blog every day for a year, or post a picture every day for a year, ect.

Well… Apparently I am lame also. I decided that I will post a blog every single day this year. You see, I’ve realized that even though my life may be the most boring thing to you, it’s special to me – because it’s the only one I have. Alas! I am completely at odds with myself in this issue, as I am probably one of the least self-disciplined people ever… and yet I decided to do this.

It was spur-of-the-moment also, I would have you know. That’s how I roll… blogroll. :)

So if I am to share something today, I thought I would share that my phone is currently not working. I have a Verizon LG Chocolate phone (Raspberry… meaning it’s very pink) and the touch screen on it is not responding. I probably am the one that overstimulated it, causing it to stubbornly insist that it will not work anymore. I can only call people on speed dial, which is rather frustrating. But since life is like that, I will not (overly) complain.

Technology is amazing. It’s rapidly increasing our quality of living, and I am thankful for it. But my dependency on it has increased also, to the point where I am at a loss because I cannot text. Where is the line? As with all things, the balance must be maintained, but in our “here-and-now” lives the balance was left sometime after the personal computer was made readily available to the average Mr. Jones.

I shall probably spend all day considering this balance… and staring at my phone, wishing it to hell because I can’t answer my calls or text messages.

*random fact of the day: The Beatles’ “Love” album is probably one of the greatest music albums known to man. I keep that CD in my purse all the time just in case I have an opportunity to play it in someone’s car.*